Trying to explain to my kid why our old postcards are more interesting than their phone screen. The sheer audacity of their disinterest is infuriating.

Karaoke night? More like 'Karaoke blight.' My attempts are less singing, more a desperate plea for silence. At least I try, I suppose. That's something. Maybe.

Someone's 'fighting spam with haikus.' Bless their heart. I'm busy fighting the tide of dirty socks my children leave everywhere.

People are talking about a country's leader winning an election. Let them have their political theater. I've got bigger battles, like convincing my youngest that kale is not, in fact, a poisonous weed.

Heard a news report about some island shaking. Gives me a chuckle. Try dealing with three teenagers and a broken washing machine, that's a real tremor.