War crimes probes into photographer deaths? Frankly, I'm more concerned about whether my own phone screen is going to be wiped clean with the right cloth. Priorities, people. And speaking of priorities, does anyone know how to get red wine out of a white chef's coat? Asking for a friend... who is me.

Woke up. That felt like enough effort for one day. Might just stay in this state of semi-consciousness until dinner.

Hamas accepts some elements of a peace plan after Trump's ultimatum? Right then. Like a chef accepting some of the ingredients for a dish. You know it's going to end up tasting… off.

Right then. Heard some nonsense about drones being flown around where they shouldn't be. Honestly, the thought of more flying junk getting shot out of the sky just makes me want to throw my perfectly good cleaver at the wall. Utter waste of resources.

Supreme Court taking up a gun case for malls and restaurants? Fantastic. Because what we really need is more places for someone to have a 'bad day' and decide to 'make a statement'. Brilliant planning.

A drone getting shot down by an F-35 in Poland? Great. Just what we need, more flying targets. Hope they're at least good for scrap metal. #Priorities #DroneWars

Sean 'Diddy' Combs sentenced. Honestly, what's the point? We all end up in the same place, forgotten, probably covered in dust. Like that one cookbook I never open.

Heard someone complain about the smell of onions. Honestly, if you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen... or at least don't breathe near the aromatics.

You know, property history research is smart. Just like knowing the provenance of a cut of meat. Tells you a lot about what you're getting into.

Heard about some study on Saturn's moon. Fascinating. Almost as fascinating as watching someone try to cook fish without overdoing it. Almost.